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Writen by Jennifer-Rose Chapter 1 April 20, 1912, night As I lay here, I realize more than ever how dearly I love Jack. In one night, my whole world had been taken away from me so cruelly. Jack was the only person that I truly ever loved, and now he was gone. Gone forever. If we were meant to be together, why had we been parted? Was our love never meant to be? Was I supposed to die at the mercy of the Titanic�s stern the night we met? Why was Jack the one to die? Why didn�t I die instead? Was Jack the one meant to survive? I started to cry uncontrollably. A voice in my head said to me, �Don�t cry. I know you love me, and I you. But you must be strong. Never let go.� I knew the voice was Jack�s. Could he be watching over me? Protecting me from the harsh world that lie ahead? Could he have known my thoughts were of him? �You are stronger than you think, Rose. Just believe in yourself,� I heard Jack�s voice once more. �But I love you. I need you . . .� I found myself crying out to a voice that has once comforted me. The voice now only made me weep. Jack and I were meant to be together. That I was certain of now. Then why was he gone? And why am I here? Such thoughts followed me until I could stay awake no longer. I fell into a deep sleep where my dreams only reflected upon what my earlier thoughts were . . . the awful pain of realizing, Jack was gone. I would never see him again . . . Scattered memories of the third class dance we shared and the beautiful sunset, danced through my head like a soft melody. We were spinning round and round, faster and faster. Then quickly water was rising. Rising and rising until there was nothing left. An awful shiver came over me. The water had been so terribly cold. I screamed for Jack, but I could not see him . . . �Jack! . . � I woke up in a panicking cry. Once again the harsh memories of Jack occupied my thoughts. �You must be strong, Rose. You must be strong . . .� the voice echoing through my head. I know what I needed to do. But doing it was a different story. I heard his voice again in a soft whisper, �I love you.� This time it was of comfort to hear his voice. I had never heard those words from his lips. And now, somehow I realized that Jack would always be with me, even if I could not be with him. He would always be looking after me, no matter what. With this peace in mind, I fell back into my sleep. My dreams were of Jack. I would always remember his heart pounding with mine. His gentle touch and his warm embrace, surrounding me like warm blanket. My mind drifted back to our night in the car. �To the stars.....� And suddenly I was drifting in the clouds, high above the world....in the stars. They were so beautiful and brilliant. Shining around me like angels.... Its now morning. I awoke in the hotel, unaware of my surroundings at first. Ever since Molly found me on the decks of Carpathia, I have been a little disillusioned. In fact I�m not really sure how or where she found me. I am just grateful that she did. She took care of me the whole trip to New York. When Carpathia docked, she insisted that I come with her and stay at the Waldorf. She was planning on only staying for a few days, but she has been kind enough to say she will stay as long as I need her. It almost seems she is the mother I never had. There was a knock at the door. �Yes, who is it?� I heard Molly say. She must have been up for a while. It must be almost 11 a.m. already. I guess I needed the sleep more that I thought. �Room service,� A man�s voice said. Molly opened the door and told the man to leave it near the large chair. When he left Molly noticed I was awake. �Mornin� darlin�. Slept well I hope?� �As good as possible, under circumstances that is,� was all I was able to reply. �I guess we�ll all be havin� our share of nightmares for a while.� I hadn�t told her about Jack and myself, or even why I wasn�t with my mother for that matter. Molly hadn�t asked, or at least not until now. �Rose honey, I know you�re in pain. I hear you cry out at night. Are your dreams that disturbing?� She said this with all the love in her heart, I know. But somehow, I found it hard to respond to the question. I began the long conversation. �Well after dinner that night.... ....and then I realized he was gone. I let his hand go, letting him slip into the dark ocean. I got off the wood and swam to the man with the whistle. I pried it from his lips and started blowing furiously. The boat came back and picked me up. The rest you pretty much know.� By now I was mess. While telling Molly the story, I was pretty much crying the whole time. �I�m sorry darlin�. I favored Jack as a matter of fact. Otherwise I would�ve never let him have that tuxedo, � she said with a smile. �Hmm. I always wondered where he had gotten that from.� I started to laugh. It was the first time I had smiled since that night. I wondered if Jack was watching. This was what he was waiting for. To see me smiling once again. It made me feel good too. I could tell that slowly, but surely, I would get stronger. It may take a while, but at least I was sure I would be all right. And so, my day started with hope. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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